For the Fathers of MSH

[cougarscaptain87 11]

just looking for some advice... im about to be a father (i know im young) and i was looking for advice on what you guys did to help calm down your partners when she was going througth the prgnancy and also i was looking for any tips on how to be a good father in your eyes. i know its all pp on what is good and what is bad but what are some methods that you fathers use to get tasks done such as... teaching of motor skills and things of that nature that everyone goes through when there is a new born in the house. thanks for any insight you can provide me with.

[gman 0]

WOW,

Well this is a question that has about a million books written on it , and a few billion dollars spent. If yo ufigure it out, let me know... As far as your spouse is concerned, just let her know, in action and words, that you are ther for her. Support her and help her. Go to the classes with her and be ther for her.

When the baby comes, do your share of the diapers and the laundry and the dishes. As far as motor skills, I really would not worry about it. I couldn't catch a balloon until I was 12 (taken from Frazier), and I turned out pretty well. Just stay involved with the baby and your wife and things will turn out the way they will.

Edit to say CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!

[cougarscaptain87 11]

any advice from the younger fathers? im only 16 (17 in 2 weeks) and i was wondering how the age makes anytihng different. thanks for the advice

[gman 0]

If you are so young, you are going to grow up very fast. Are you married? Are your parents/ her parents available for support? This is way beyond a hockey forum. Talk to some counselors at your school or another local organisation.

My boss got married at 16, they had their first child at 17. They have five grown kids and are still married and very happy. It won't be easy, no marriages are, but it can be done. You can make Willard Scott's list for being married over 75 years in about 76 years. Enjoy

[Nigel 0]

any advice from the younger fathers? im only 16 (17 in 2 weeks) and i was wondering how the age makes anytihng different. thanks for the advice

wow 16? that must be tough.. i couldn't imagine dealing with something like this right now.

[Cheesehead 0]

good luck and congratulations

[Meathead 0]

I'm 19 and there's no chance in hell that I'm ready for a kid. You're going to have to grow up really fast like gman said.

[jrhky36 1]

each father has found their own way (good or bad) to do things. life will be radically different for you and your partner.

gman has a very good suggestion as to where to seek advice and i would highly recommend you doing so. i thing i know someone you could talk to send me a pm if your intrested in their names. one is in waterford and another is in altas.

as far as calming her down during labor suggest she have an epadural. i won't affect the baby at all. my wife wanted to go natural but our son was not being very good at the time. first he started face up so she had alot of pain in the lower back then he turned the right way and finally came out face to the left on his side. my wife could not have done this without the epadural.

i trully wish you, her, and your families the very best through this joyous and difficult time.

[cougarscaptain87 11]

our families are very supportive. 10000x more then i thought they would be. were not married but our parents want us to and weve both been talking aobut it and it seems like thats going to be the next step in this adventure. ive been seeking counceling from professionals so no worry about that, i just wanted some real life experiences that arent sugar coated like the councelers tell you. as far as an epadural, what exactly is that? ive never heard of it. and for you few women on this board any suggestions for the mother as to what she should and shouldnt be doing besides the obvious of heavy excersize, tobacco/drug/acohol use? thanks again for the help, thats why i love this board is all of us help eachother with our situations regardless to the content.

[mack 44]

For the most part, age is irrelevant when you're becoming a parent for the first time I've found. Granted there are advantages to becoming one later (financial stability and the like) but no man's ever ready to become a parent; I reckon that comes from somewhere in the Y chromosome.

You're going to have to be patient. Granted you're on the fast track with this, but hopefully your guys' parents will be helpful and supportive as much as they can with this.

As for any help during the pregnancy, my wife went all natural and I wouldn't wish that on any parent so that wouldn't be of much use. Just be ready for swings in mood and appetite that you wouldn't believe. There were too many times I'd be sent on late-night runs for brownies, then coming home to make them and finding out she didn't want them anymore. They're all nice little lessons in how patient you're going to have to be with a newborn. Good luck, congratulations and thanks for keeping it.

[chris17 0]

Congrats man.

I would just be prepaared for a lot of stares and dirty looks from people. Having a kid that young is taboo in todays society. But the best thing you can do is not let it bother you, instead just concentrate on being a great parent and take pride in the fact that you will probably be a better parent than most of them.

Make sure you and your girlfriend stay in school. It will be rough but you have stated you have your parents support so that is good.

Good luck and hope everything works out for you.

-Chris

p.s. Dont forget to get the kid on skates ASAP!

[cougarscaptain87 11]

thanks guys, were staying in school. were both going to be sr's and shes real advanced so shes going to graduate in janurary and shes due in march so we hope thats going to work and im gonna graduate in june with my class. were both planning to go to a local college just to get the education (and ill play club hockey :P ) i already know all the stares and the whispers that we are going to get becasue we already hear all the whispers because in high school shit gets around fast so just aobut everyone knows. any more advice will be greatly appreciated.

[Geeno_56 1]

congrats and good luck, all the best to you your girl and both of your families.

[LetsGoWings13 0]

Congradulations and keep your head up. At school people may talk shit and if they start saying things about your gf your probly gonna have to whip there ass. I rember the girl at my school who got pregnant the end of her junior year and people were spreading rumors and shit and shes sucha nice girl didnt deserve that at all.

[Miike 1]

Just a question, what do your/her parents think of this?

[Eazy_b97 1]

Most of what I'd suggest has been covered. Be supportive to the mother and let her know you're always available.

I'm not saying you should do it, but I would seriously consider adoption as an option at your age.

[KYHockey3 0]

just stand by her side, no matter how much people talk about you 2.

i know quite a few kids with kids and they havent done the greatest job with parenting.

as long as you stay true to her and help her out a lot, everything should be good.

[cougarscaptain87 11]

our parents are so supportive of it, they know things can happen and they understand that we thought that we were fully protected and that it was an accident. we thought about adoption but we decided against it as it would be too hard emotionally

thanks again guys

[M-Cohen 0]

I know it might not seem much, but my mom had a baby 7 years ago and her and her husband started going through alot of rough stuff (verbally) about 2-3 years affter, for about 4 years before my mom kicked him out. And now, since he kinda grew up with yelling and swearing and things he is really....Emotionally unstable? Lots of crying at the slightest things, hese been able to swear since he was like 4 and things like that. So just watch out for arguing around him/her.

[KYHockey3 0]

also, remember too keep the child around positive things, basically what ticat said.

from what i know, it seems best to get your child into sports/activities as early as possible. in the sports, friends and aquaintences will be met, leading to friendships.

also, dont force your child to play a sport that they dont want too..

but in the baby years just shower it with tons of attention and show it that you love it.

good luck.

[jrhky36 1]

cougarscaptain,

an epadural is a spinal block designed to prevent her from feeling any pain during labor. it can can be painfull when the dr. puts the tap in, but after the meds start working she will be very comfy. my wife even fell asleep after her's kicked in. i was even happier.

on a side note i have wanted to copy the begining of "look whos talking" and put that on a video of highlights of my sons first three years, but my wife doesn't like the idea.

[foppa21 0]

On the topic of epidurals, inserting the catheter should not be painful at all if you have a competent anesthesiologist or nurse anesthetist. Really, the most painful part of the whole insertion process is the first injection when they put the lidocaine in to numb the area. Also, saying that the epidural doesn't affect the baby at all is a bit of a misnomer. There are very rarely any negative side effects on the baby, but it does affect the fetal heart rate.

On a side note, I had an epidural several years ago for a surgery on my ahem, ass, ahem, and it did wonders. I felt absolutely no pain in recovery and during my overnight stay, even with dressing changes and the lot. As an analgesic, it was amazing.

[KYHockey3 0]

On the topic of epidurals, inserting the catheter should not be painful at all if you have a competent anesthesiologist or nurse anesthetist. Really, the most painful part of the whole insertion process is the first injection when they put the lidocaine in to numb the area. Also, saying that the epidural doesn't affect the baby at all is a bit of a misnomer. There are very rarely any negative side effects on the baby, but it does affect the fetal heart rate.

On a side note, I had an epidural several years ago for a surgery on my ahem, ass, ahem, and it did wonders. I felt absolutely no pain in recovery and during my overnight stay, even with dressing changes and the lot. As an analgesic, it was amazing.

why did u have surgery on ur asss?

[mack 44]

I'd say don't even bother with an epidural and go natural, but that'd be a lot of stress on a girl that young.

[Vapor 0]

I'd say don't even bother with an epidural and go natural, but that'd be a lot of stress on a girl that young.

Mack does speak from experience.